[Monkfish]

I'd rather just take it to my local friendly MX-5 garage and say "slap her on the corner weighing scales will you?" whilst handing over a small amount of beer tokens and drinking tea.

For reference, a 1.8 Eunos with electric mirrors and windows, powersteering and aircon weighs in at 1055kgs with a full tank of bongo juice and a 5kg camera bag in the boot. She's a fat bitch and needs to tone up a bit.